Some Like It Cold!!!

Ice Ice Baby!!!

After a well deserved break catching up with friends back home I start my third contract. It’s now approaching one year since I started this new game and it’s difficult to fathom how time has passed by so quickly!!!

Shortly after landing on Alaskan soil I am welcomed by heavy showers and cold gusts of wind which I can expect on most days according to the locals. A far cry from the pictures outlined in every promotional brochure advertising whale watching and glacier trekking.

I arrive at my hotel with the primary intention of collapsing in my bed after many exhausting hours of travel. Unfortunately, the stuffed moose head on the wall stifles my ability to get any shut eye as I am sure he’s still alive as his eyes seem to follow me around the room!

A short time later I embark my new home, the Coral Princess. This being the biggest ship I have been on so far with 2000+ passengers and 1000+ crew onboard. Within a few days it is obvious that I will be kept a lot busier with clinics and more out of hour call outs. 

Shortly after introducing myself to the medical team I see a familiar face in the midsts. Lennie, the senior doctor from my first contract! After catching up over coffee and exchanging stories about time away from the ships, I am quick to remember how in the short one month working together on our first contract we managed three heart attacks, performed two blood transfusions, and dealt with two cardiac arrests!!! Was this a bad omen?

Alaska consists of one week cruises running back and forth between Vancouver and Anchorage. Many of the ports seem to look the same, and so do the shops for that matter. In Liverpool every other shop is a hairdressers or a Sayers. In Alaska every other shop is either a jewelers or a salmon shop.

Unfortunately weather is key when it comes to traveling around Alaska. If it’s raining, every port and glacier run looks completely different to when it is sunny! Regardless of weather though it’s always nice to venture out onto the crew deck at the front of the ship, for hot chocolate and cookies while the glacier’s carve in the distance.

After five weeks onboard I have already enjoyed whale watching, glacier trekking, husky dog sledding and most importantly Burger Queen!!! Undoubtably the best burgers in Alaska!!!

With crew tours organised every week onboard ship, I’m looking forward to what next week has in store!!!

Sayonara Asia!!!

After leaving the big city lights of Hong Kong we make our way to one of China’s busiest ports, Shanghai. After a quick rock, paper, scissors head-to-head with the senior doc, he hands me his bleep and leaves the ship in search of cheap local bargains... I knew I should have gone rock! Instead I decide to take pictures of some of the more interesting buildings from top deck. A couple that grab my attention include two tall skyscrapers with massive rectangular holes in the top of them making them look like gigantic bottle openers. Suddenly very thirsty for a beer I head to the bar where the manager informs me that the holes allow the flow of bad spirits to exit buildings, following an old Feng Shui belief.

Next stop Yokohama, Tokyo. As the majority of my pictures include me getting pissed up in Hong Kong, I decide to take a few cultural snaps to even out the collection. I ask the taxi man to take me to some local temples and shrines for a taste of oriental culture. When we arrive everywhere I turn I am reminded of sketches from old Bruce Lee movies I used to watch as a child... Now then, where are the num-chucks???

Before entering one of the temples I’m stopped by a local woman who points towards a dragon sculptured water fountain to clean my hands in before entering the main temple... Funny how I didn't see her ask anyone else. 

On entering I see hoards of people pushing their way through heavy crowds to throw their yen into a giant well and pray to the gods. After realising the whole English tact of, ‘umm excuse me, sorry. excuse me’ only serves to push me further and further back, I decide to use my hefty weight advantage and rugby tackle my way to the front levelling little old dears and children along the way to watch how the locals pray...

A man pauses solemnly. Throws his coin. Claps twice. Bows twice. Claps one. Looks up. Pauses briefly. Walk away happy and enlightened.

So. Throw coin, clap twice, bow twice, clap once, walk away... Throw coin, clap twice, bow twice, clap once, walk away... Throw coin, clap twice, bow twice, clap once, walk away.

My turn.

Okay...Ready...Go!!!

I throw the coin with a bit too much gusto completely missing the well, curtsey, high five the guy next to me, and run away...

After hiding behind a fat golden budda for 10 minutes, I decide to sneak out of the temple grounds in search of food. I follow the scent of raw fish until I find a very tasty looking sushi restaurant.  After gorging myself on enough fish to embarrass a pelican, I decide to make my way back to the temple grounds again.

By this time the temple yard is teeming with Geishas which somehow brings the whole Japanese experience to life. Little girls admire them enviously like pop stars, and wooden Geisha dolls fly off the shelves as soon as they are stocked... Watch out Barbie!!! Through it all people are lighting candles, preying at shrines and placing their heads in Japanese dragon heads for luck (I presume). Half way through a Kimono fitting I realise that time is running short and make tracks back to the ship... Always next time.

Our next stop is very different by comparison. We make our way down to Guam. An American naval base which so happens to be where James Cameron, Director of Avatar, successfully attempted the deepest scuba dive on record only a couple of weeks ago, diving seven miles below sea level in Mariana Trench. Thinking it cruel to steal his record after only two weeks I opted instead to take on the ‘Blue Hole’. A 140 foot (40 metre) dive, scrambling down the side of the sea bed to dark blue waters where visibility becomes a slight problem, hence the reason for fish having bigger eyes!!! A dark cave beckons us in with only a small glimmer of light above us to help guide our sense of direction. After climbing up through the cave to shallower waters I notice a large family of clown fish within a sunken wreck who start aggressively head butting my face to warm me off... Okay, okay, I don't want no trouble!!!

My scuba mate Johan signals that he’s found a sea cucumber, so after a few obligatory ‘willy shots’ and running short on air we head back up to the surface.  Absolutely shattered from the nitrogen narcosis (ask an Anaesthetist) we get back on the boat and witness something absolutely amazing... Jame’s Cameron’s boat!!! After honking the horn and shouting out “James, JAMES!!!” repeatedly, the multi-millionaire himself comes out of his office gives us a big wave, turn’s around and shows us his big white pasty ass!!! What a legend!!! 

A soon as I arrive back to the ship I get my list of ‘Things to see before I die’ and add another tick. A fantastic way to finish my tour of Asia!!!

Good bye Australia!!!

We finally leave Australia and head for Asia, making quick stop offs in Indonesia and Malaysia, before heading towards the real point of interest... Hong Kong.

After a quick glance at the master schedule, I realise that two other princess ships are docking into Hong Kong the same day as us. On one of them my close friend Kat, who I first met back on the Dawn Princess. After a quick email exchange we decide to meet up and tackle the orient together.

After the initial stress of navigating through the underground shuttle system which imitates an ants nest, we finally find the much talked about ‘Ladies Market’. Ironically the market seems to attract mostly men, desperately in search of hardcore bargains. A half mile long street of market stalls selling everything from ‘authentic’ designer belts to ipads, I decide to put my Persian haggling skills to good effect!!!

A nice black leather gucci belt catches my eye. I tell Kat to stand back and let me show her how its done.

“How much?” (Pointing at belt)
“350 Hong Kong Dollar!”
“I give you 100 Dollar!”
“Good bye!” (Physically pushes me out of her stall)

Okay... Okay... Don’t worry Ryan, it’s all part of the dance.

Round 2.

“How much for 16GB USB stick?”
“400 Dollar!”
“ooohh” (Big huff and look of disgust)
“Okay, for you, 360 dollar”
“I give you 150 dollar”
“Good bye” (Man handled out again...)

By this point Kat is laughing hysterically, and I’m trying my best to save face.

Realising I hadn’t eaten since morning clinic, I decide to blame my poor start on hunger, so go off in search of some authentic oriental cuisine.

After scanning the menu of rare chinese delicacies including stir fried monkey brains, sizzling dolphin blow hole and picked deers penis, I decide to play it safe, and order the Peking Dog with side salad.

Afterwards, as I look down at my plate of bones I can’t help but think, ‘Bloody shame, the Dog would have love those...’

Unfortunately as Kat has to leave soon, I insist she gives me one more chance to show off my supreme haggling skills.

Round 3.
I go for a different tact...

“Ooh these electronic speakers would be great, they’d look so nice in my room. How much do you want for them?”
“400 Dollar”
“BOLLOCKS!!!” (Walking away...)
“NO WAIT!!!”
(I shake my head and put my hand up 2 inches away from her face)
“I give you for 250 Dollar!”
“THATS STILL BOLLOCKS!!!” (Walking away faster)
“Come back sir, come back! 220!!!”
“I give you 200. THATS IT!!!” (still walking away)
“Okay, okay”

“...AND I WANT A FREE PLASTIC BAG!!!”

Oh Yeah, I’m back baby!!!

I use the whole ‘Complement, “Bollocks”, Walk Away’ technique for the rest of the day which works to great effect.

After walking around the streets for hours on end my dogs are barking. With a couple of hours left to root around I decide to treat myself to a chinese foot massage. Through the hoards of chinese women aggressively handing out leaflets and holding up signs, I opt to talk to a little old lady sat down away from the crowd, who seems disinterested in the fierce business competition.

After negotiating a price of 68 dollars (approximately 6 pounds), she leads me back to her house. I start to think that maybe I should have gone a little more mainstream...
After sitting me down on a chair in her living room, she brings out a big bowl of warm water to soak my feet along with a pot of chinese tea before exiting back into the kitchen.

While I marinade an old man smokes a long opium pipe over the balcony, and two young children watch a crazy hentai cartoon of a burger man shooting hot dogs at a robotic panda, while a three headed super lizard turns into a fire engine?!”... What’s in this tea?!

Half an hour later, she come’s back into the room and works her magic on my feet, and it really was magic! The aches and pains slowly start to melt away, and 30 minutes later I find myself trying not to fall asleep in her living room chair.

After thanking her for her hospitality, I give the two kids a few of my spare hong kong dollars to buy themselves a squid on stick and make my way back to the ship.

Later that night the team goes up to top deck and watches the light show over a quick cocktail. A regular nightly fixture, where all the buildings and skyscrapers in Hong Kong light up in different colours, choreographed to loud techno music. It’s difficult to describe in words how incredible Hong Kong looks at night anyway. But when you’re watching so many different buildings come alive, and your eyes don’t know where to look first, you know you’ve been treated to something truly special...

After all of the day’s excitement I decide to head back down to my cabin and relax with some music, only to find my new speakers don’t work... BOLLOCKS!!!

A&E at Sea take two!!!

After 37 hours of traveling I finally land on Australian soil. Within seconds of arriving at the hotel I recognise a few crew members I worked with on the Dawn Princess. It was nice to know that I would be starting this new adventure with a few familiar faces.

Shortly after arriving on ship old memories come flooding back from my previous contract. After sorting out my immigration documents, I meet the team in the medical centre for a quick introduction and handover of medical duties. Within an hour the old doctor is off the ship and I take my rightful place in the baby docs cabin, where I will stay for the next couple of months.

After unpacking we all get together for a team lunch, where I find out that the whole team is South African and I’ve just broken the mould. Dutch conversation flies around the dinner table while the look on my face sends out the signals of jet lag and utter confusion.

Learning from experience, I recognise the importance of routine to allay feelings of stagnation which can easily happen at sea. I assign myself a solid list of goals to be achieved during my two months here;

1. Learn senior doctor duties
2. Read kindle
3. Play guitar
4. Exercise everyday
5. Eat healthy foods
6. Stay away from alcohol!!!

After a busy first day I sit down to the first night in my cabin, and open my Kindle to find a massive crack down the centre of the screen. Shit!

A few minutes later, a knock at my door, “Fancy a drink in the crew bar?” ... “Sod it! Yeah, why not!!!”

Within 24 hours I fail two of my contract goals... A solid start.

Unfortunately the start of the second contract does not carry the initial excitement that I experienced in the first. I remember vividly how big the ship felt when I first started compared to how small and insignificant it feels now. The beautiful ship surroundings have now lost their allure as the rooms, cabins and corridors all start to look the same. The food that I once considered exciting & delicious, now feels more like school dinners (private school of course!).  Also, the initial excitement of going to parties and shows in the evenings have now been trumped by horlicks and DVDs.

This contract will travel around Asia finally finishing in the Tahitian Islands. Some very interesting ports await me including Hong Kong, Shanghai, Nagasaki & Yokohama. Really looking forward to seeing Hong Kong... Just so I can buy myself a new bloody Kindle!!!

After a few days onboard getting to know of the crew, one of the girls mentions a Scuba Diving trip to the Great Barrier Reef (The Scuba Diving Mecca!). After getting my license only a few weeks ago, I’m all over it!!!

After a two hour boat ride we finally reach the pontoon floating in the water where we will be diving. After kitting up in my sexy new scuba gear, I’m ready and raring to go!!!

Within seconds of ducking under the water I witness some of the most breath taking views of my life! Innumerable fish swimming through the water of all different colours, shapes and sizes, clearly not phased by our presence. The coral comes alive and the mild current slowly drifts me into newer territory. As I get closer to the coral I see a family of clown fish... That’s right. I found Nemo!!! As I turn around, I get the fright of my life when a massive potato bass not short on confidence decides to check out whether I’m edible or not. Fortunately because I smell like school dinners he opts for a couple of photos instead (check out facebook).

45 minutes under water passes by in an instant, and before I know it we’re returning to the surface to rejoin the boat. I can’t wait for my next opportunity to relive this incredibly unique experience.

An Early Christmas Present

We’ve travelled back and forth between Australia and New Zealand for the last six weeks and although the ports now all start to look the same the novelty still hasn’t worn off.

After spending over four months on the ship I am starting to compare it to working in hospital whilst living in hospital residence. It’s very difficult to detach social life from work when the two co-exist side by side onboard the ship.

Today though we are in Akaroa. A beautiful little tender port in the South Island of NZ. I am currently typing this blog onboard top deck under hot sunshine with an ice cold mohito by my side. This nice, relaxing day is a far cry from what we experienced when we were last here two weeks ago. Here is my story...

After spending the day out with Darian checking out the little shops and taking in the scenery, we returned to the ship so I could start my afternoon clinic at 4:30pm. Departure from Akaroa was scheduled at 5pm.

At 4:25 a CODE ALPHA was tanoyed to indicate a medical emergency in the Atrium. The whole team arrived at the scene to find a 70 year old lady collapsed on her chair, only rousable to a pain stimulus and looking very unwell indeed.

While the team got to work administering oxygen and establishing an IV line, I spoke briefly to her friend about what happened.

“Well, we just decided to sit down for coffee after watching one of the shows. Mary suddenly said she had a pain in her stomach and within a few seconds she started frothing at the mouth and going blue in the face. That’s when I called the nurse. I don’t get it?! She has been fine all day!!!”

We rushed Mary down to the medical centre where we could assess her more thoroughly. En route she became a lot more alert and the colour started to return to her face.

When we attached her to monitoring equipment her blood pressure was 72/36 (very low). She looked and felt fine for five minutes before screaming out with another bout of stomach pain. Again she became very pale and mottled. Strongly suspicious of a Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm (100% Death if not operated on), we titrated IV fluids in very slowly to keep the blood pressure low and started a noradrenaline infusion.

Suddenly the Captain’s Voice came in over the tannoy “Good Evening Ladies & Gentleman we are now ready to depart Akaroa and set sail for Wellington...”

Carol quickly finds to the nearest phone to inform the Captain we need to delay ship departure so Mary can be urgently disembarked to hospital.

As Akaroa is a Tender Port we have to go through the arduous task of transferring Mary ashore in a very small, unsteady tender boat.

30 minutes later we are finally ashore and a helicopter is waiting to transfer our patient to Christchurch Hospital.

Whilst eating in the officer’s mess I get a phone call at 9pm from an outside line. 

“Hello, this is the Intensive Care Consultant at Christchurch Hospital.  Just thought I’d give you an update as to what’s happening with your patient."  

"Turned out Mary had a ruptured AAA after all. She was operated on at 7pm. They found 2L of blood in her abdomen. She’s stable at the moment. We’re hoping to wean her off the ventilator tomorrow.”

I phone up three days later.

“Hi this is Ryan from the Dawn Princess, I’m just wandering how Mary’s doing?”

“Well. Do you want to ask her yourself? MARY!”

I’m in a state of shock when Mary answers the phone, sounding perfectly fine. She says she’ll be out of hospital in a week!!!  

Incredible to think how if she had presented only five minutes later when we had set sail the outcome could have been very different!!!

This will probably be one of the most memorable experiences from my first contract at sea. Needless to say Christmas was very special when we received her Christmas Card thanking us all for our efforts. 

Little Victories like this remind me how much I enjoy being a doctor.

Whatta Rush!!!

As we travel through the Fjords of Milford Sound in New Zealand, I’m taken back by the breathtaking views of low set clouds running across the mountain tops and dolphins swimming alongside the ship. In the distance the passengers gasp at their first sighting of a whale.

New Zealand truly has to be one of the most beautiful countries in the world.

Many of the ports we visit remind me of the great time’s I had here as a student with Chris & Dave. I relive the times of old including when we did the second highest bungee jump in the world down in Queenstown. 

I remember vividly how I screamed like a girl for the first few seconds until I was travelling so fast I couldn’t make a sound, as the air was entering my mouth as fast as I was trying to expel it! I also remember how it was raining on the day and the raindrops were travelling upwards... Completely surreal!!!

However, it’s been nearly eight long years since that amazing day and I wondered whether it was time to reset the adrenaline clock.  Just at that moment Darian walks through the door...

“Hey! I’ve signed us up for a Skydive in Bay of Islands, you in?!”

“HELL YEAH!!!”

The two days leading up to the skydive, I’m surprising calm and collected about the whole thing.

One the day, I’m desperate for clouds in the sky and hailing winds, in the hope that somehow it might be cancelled...

Brown trousers at the ready, I walk up to the counter and sign my life away, essentially covering the company against ANY eventually. 

“You may shit yourself and end up on YouTube”

“You may get attacked by seagulls”

When I see the plane which consists of 90% cardboard and sticky tape, I start to feel the beginning of chest pain and palpitations.

Within a couple of minutes we’re thousands of feet in the air. After about 15 minutes I hear the dreaded words, “Right we’re at 12000 feet, ready?”

The door swings open and like a true English Gentleman I tell Darian “Lady’s first!”

Within the blink of an eye, one moment she’s there on the edge of the platform and then the next moment... She’s gone!!!

As the chest pain starts to run down my left arm I feel myself being pushed towards the platform edge!!! 

3...2...1... OHHH SHITTTTTTTT!!!!!!

Within seconds my cheeks become earmuffs!!!

The shear force of the wind hitting my face paralyses my screams like it did during the bungee jump. My arms and legs flap around aimlessly, and I feel truly helpless during the whole process.

After 30 seconds of free fall, the parachute finally opens and my heart races even faster as I fall into my harness and hold on for dear life, just in case I slip through...

We parachute directly into a cloud... I’d always wanted to know what a cloud tastes like... Turns out it tastes like fog.

Five minutes later I execute a perfect landing and find the closest bush to vomit into!

Darian lands shortly after, and I quickly run over to congratulate her on her silver medal!

“Hey! Even jumping out before me I still beat you to the bottom!”

“Well of course you did. You’re fatter than I am”

Haha, Poor thing. She doesn’t know the difference between fat and muscle. 

I decide to give her a big one armed hug around the neck.

On the way back to the ship the adrenaline rush leaves us both feeling exhausted. 

Evening clinic could’ve have taken any longer.

But hey, at least I can finally say I’ve done a skydive when asked... Awesome experience!!!

A very late blog post!!!

We’re currently on our way around Fiji, Vanuatu and New Caledonia for the last time before we start our regular tour around NZ.

This is the last cruise to get in some solid tanning action and naturally all the crew are looking to Bronze up before NZ. Only yesterday I found myself dad running opposite an Italian Engineer towards the final sun lounger. Inching his way ahead, my prayers are answered when he takes a tumble over his flip flop and I run on to claim my prize in the Sun. Take that Italy!!!

I went Snorkling in Lifou a few days ago. Interesting reefs and colourful fish elegantly swam through the water.  It would’ve probably been really relaxing if my snorkel worked and not forced me to drink half the Ocean!!!

Next stop was Dravuni Island. Up at 6am loading the tender boat with medical supplies to set up medical camp on the beach before passengers left the ship... Why do old people get up so early!!!

An absolutely scorching hot day, I’m provided with a table and chair in the shade. As I read my book I become increasingly aware that more and more people mistake me for the shore excursion guide. 

“What is there to do on the Island?”

“Well there’s sand you can lie on, and there’s seawater you can swim in”

“What do I do if I see a Jellyfish?”

“Pick it up and give it a hug”

“Do they accept Fijian Dollars?”

“Well this is Fiji, so probably yes”

“Do they accept Canadian Dollars?

“Well this is Fiji, so probably no”

“What’s that Oxygen Cylinder for?”

“To hit people on the head when they ask stupid questions”

Afternoon clinic and the waiting room has more lobsters than a seafood restaurant. Applications of sunburn cream are shortly followed by screams.  I’m sure to greet them all with a big cheesy smile and firm, friendly slap on the back. I’m secretly hoping for employee of the month...

The final stop is Noumea, capital of New Caledonia. Not sure what there is to do yet, but I know there’s a beach so I’m sure our lobster’s will be happy about that.

Christmas Trees, Festive Cheer, and ‘Happy Holidays’ are becoming evident on the ship. Darian’s turned her room into a winter wonderland & got us peppermint shnaps and hot chocolate, mmm. 

I’m now in the difficult situation of trying to figure out what to buy her for Christmas and any man knows how impossible it is to buy gifts for women. After hours on the internet looking for inspiration and getting nowhere, I find the medical team who have had the fantastic idea of doing secret santa, Yeay!!!

 Shame their all bloody women too!!!