After leaving the big city lights of Hong Kong we make our way to one of China’s busiest ports, Shanghai. After a quick rock, paper, scissors head-to-head with the senior doc, he hands me his bleep and leaves the ship in search of cheap local bargains... I knew I should have gone rock! Instead I decide to take pictures of some of the more interesting buildings from top deck. A couple that grab my attention include two tall skyscrapers with massive rectangular holes in the top of them making them look like gigantic bottle openers. Suddenly very thirsty for a beer I head to the bar where the manager informs me that the holes allow the flow of bad spirits to exit buildings, following an old Feng Shui belief.
Next stop Yokohama, Tokyo. As the majority of my pictures include me getting pissed up in Hong Kong, I decide to take a few cultural snaps to even out the collection. I ask the taxi man to take me to some local temples and shrines for a taste of oriental culture. When we arrive everywhere I turn I am reminded of sketches from old Bruce Lee movies I used to watch as a child... Now then, where are the num-chucks???
Before entering one of the temples I’m stopped by a local woman who points towards a dragon sculptured water fountain to clean my hands in before entering the main temple... Funny how I didn't see her ask anyone else.
On entering I see hoards of people pushing their way through heavy crowds to throw their yen into a giant well and pray to the gods. After realising the whole English tact of, ‘umm excuse me, sorry. excuse me’ only serves to push me further and further back, I decide to use my hefty weight advantage and rugby tackle my way to the front levelling little old dears and children along the way to watch how the locals pray...
A man pauses solemnly. Throws his coin. Claps twice. Bows twice. Claps one. Looks up. Pauses briefly. Walk away happy and enlightened.
So. Throw coin, clap twice, bow twice, clap once, walk away... Throw coin, clap twice, bow twice, clap once, walk away... Throw coin, clap twice, bow twice, clap once, walk away.
My turn.
Okay...Ready...Go!!!
I throw the coin with a bit too much gusto completely missing the well, curtsey, high five the guy next to me, and run away...
After hiding behind a fat golden budda for 10 minutes, I decide to sneak out of the temple grounds in search of food. I follow the scent of raw fish until I find a very tasty looking sushi restaurant. After gorging myself on enough fish to embarrass a pelican, I decide to make my way back to the temple grounds again.
By this time the temple yard is teeming with Geishas which somehow brings the whole Japanese experience to life. Little girls admire them enviously like pop stars, and wooden Geisha dolls fly off the shelves as soon as they are stocked... Watch out Barbie!!! Through it all people are lighting candles, preying at shrines and placing their heads in Japanese dragon heads for luck (I presume). Half way through a Kimono fitting I realise that time is running short and make tracks back to the ship... Always next time.
Our next stop is very different by comparison. We make our way down to Guam. An American naval base which so happens to be where James Cameron, Director of Avatar, successfully attempted the deepest scuba dive on record only a couple of weeks ago, diving seven miles below sea level in Mariana Trench. Thinking it cruel to steal his record after only two weeks I opted instead to take on the ‘Blue Hole’. A 140 foot (40 metre) dive, scrambling down the side of the sea bed to dark blue waters where visibility becomes a slight problem, hence the reason for fish having bigger eyes!!! A dark cave beckons us in with only a small glimmer of light above us to help guide our sense of direction. After climbing up through the cave to shallower waters I notice a large family of clown fish within a sunken wreck who start aggressively head butting my face to warm me off... Okay, okay, I don't want no trouble!!!
My scuba mate Johan signals that he’s found a sea cucumber, so after a few obligatory ‘willy shots’ and running short on air we head back up to the surface. Absolutely shattered from the nitrogen narcosis (ask an Anaesthetist) we get back on the boat and witness something absolutely amazing... Jame’s Cameron’s boat!!! After honking the horn and shouting out “James, JAMES!!!” repeatedly, the multi-millionaire himself comes out of his office gives us a big wave, turn’s around and shows us his big white pasty ass!!! What a legend!!!
A soon as I arrive back to the ship I get my list of ‘Things to see before I die’ and add another tick. A fantastic way to finish my tour of Asia!!!
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