After an overrun busy morning clinic I quickly get changed into shorts and a T-shirt and head out to explore Bali, Indonesia. Unfortunately the nearest beach is found to be over 30 min taxi ride away and I’ve only got two hours to explore, so instead I decide to hang close and explore the local market stalls.
As soon as I leave the security desk I’m bombarded by locals whose prime occupation is to harass dumb-ass tourists.
“Where you go? You want taxi?”
“No thanks”
“Taxi?”
“No”
“You want CDs?”
“No!”
“You want Sorrong?”
“NO!!!”
“You want Wooden Model Bike?”
“WHAT?! NO!!!!!”
“You want Wallet that Catches Fire?”
“NOOOOOO F*** OFF!!!!!!!!!! ..... Wait... What? Ooh okay!!!”
Asking price 200000 Rupees. Agreed Price 50000 Rupees. Clearly his mum never told him Never to Haggle with a Persian!!!
It’s National Geriatric Day in Clinic the next morning. Hordes of Blue Rinses stream through the door looking for a cocktail of Amoxicillin, Paracetamol & Sudafed.
The Medical Team springs into action in a conveyer belt fashion to try and clear the Clinic as quickly as possible.
Unfortunately, hidden amongst the Coughs & Colds we find a Life-Threatening COPD Exacerbation and two Severe Pneumonias all requiring admission.
The Medical Centre only has a capacity of 4 inpatient beds for these kind of conditions. Three Down, One to Go!!!
After an extremely busy day I ask Lennie if he wouldn’t mind me quickly going up for my appointment in the Spa at 7pm. “Yeah, No worries Ryan, I think we’ll manage down here”
Hmmm... A Relaxing Scalp Massage followed by a Haircut. Just what I need after such a Stressful day... I drift off with the peaceful music & general pampering... Aaaah...
........... **BEEP BEEP BEEP! CODE ALPHA CODE ALPHA, ALOHA 114!!!**
Half way through my HAIRCUT!!! You gotta be kidding me?!
I start running to the medical emergency with my Mohican and Hairdressing Sheet blowing behind me in the wind looking like a Retarded Superhero.
I arrive at the scene to find an Elderly Gentleman, Blue in the Face, Frothing at the Mouth, having a Myoclonic Seizure. The Oxygen and IV Drugs arrive a short time later and as soon as the stretcher party arrives we get him down the the Medical Bay for further Monitoring and Assessment...
That’s it... No more room at the Inn. Our Senior Nurse with over 10 years experience says that in all her time working on the ships the maximum number of inpatients she’s ever had is Five.
As soon as she said it, a rather blue looking gentleman walks through the door wheezing from across the corridor in desperate need of attention... and maybe a little bit of Oxygen.
Well with no beds available we have no other choice decide to send him back to his cabin with a (Very Large) Portable Oxygen Concentrator.
Phew. What a Day!!!
The Next Morning we arrive in Fremantle and after a Stormy Night with Five Critically Ill Patients a Wave of Euphoria washes over all of us as one by one the Paramedics Disembark all our Patients to the nearest Local Hospital. (High Fives all round!!!)
A Few Celebratory Margaritas in the Wardie that Night... Just what the Doctor Ordered!!!
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